church update

this is a little late, but for our friends that we don't see at church... we finally have a pastor at Living Bridge! we prayed and hung on for 18 months and found that as always, God does provide at the right moment, sometimes when you are not expecting it. I believe it was at a moment for me when i was really questioning the purpose of living bridge and whether it was for God's purpose or our own. it also came at a time when many of the other long time members really hunkered down and started to pray. previous to that, i think we were going more on our own power than God's power. (my thought only. i can think of 2 people that might disagree with me... but that's ok too :). thanks for all your prayers and to those of you who allowed us to bend your ear with what was going on.

here's our leadership team at our first retreat. pastor rick is third from the left. it was at this place, up in the scott's valley/santa cruz mountains called "fasting prayer mountain of the world". hilarious!! only thing i can say is that koreans can come up with the most pompous names. and it was cold. i am wearing a down jacket, wool padded mumu boots and long johns under my jeans. plus 2 long sleeve shirts and a cashmere turtle-neck sweater. i also brought a fleece blanket. i think i was the only one that day that was NOT cold, esp in the morning. the others were wearing only light jackets and fleece pullovers.


Pastor Rick started last November. he spent a few months observing and trying out a few ideas on us but has recently really moved into his role as shepard and stepped up his intensity in terms of training and challenging us (the leadership team). i think it is fair to say both William and i are really amazed at how having a caring and Bible-focused pastor has changed our church. he has managed to slowly and carefully start a redirection down the right path of prayer and focus on God, rather than of fellowship and material things.


it has been hard for past year, seeing a lot of the people at church get together more for social reasons. and having no spiritual leader meant relying on administrative leadership to hold the church together. that can only work for so long... people (whether christian or not, crave the passion that comes with true renewal of their hearts and mind.) since we didn't have that, it was really only the social aspect that was keeping people there. talk about thin juice!

both pastor rick and his wife, yvonne have had a wonderful effect on the church. to have a pastor that desires to get to know you and personally takes an interest in what is going on in your life, has filled both of us with a renewed sense of energy and dedication. i personally have not felt this since I left our church and pastor down at UCLA. it has been a long dry spell... and there is a reason the Bible says that we are not islands! we just can keep it going by ourselves. we need each other and we need God to stay on track. and yvonne, oh where do i start. she is like my long lost sister!! i can't tell you how many times we have talked the last couple months to discover yet another thing we have in common. she is so wonderful!

we know that everyone has weak points and things they have to work on. as we get to know him better and vice versa, we will see those things in each other. but many of us feel that God brought Pastor Rick and his family for His purpose and it has given us a renewed faith, not in the pastor but in God. Knowing that He will work through Pastor Rick to move us forward, is the best feeling in the world right now. right up there with getting spontaneous hugs and kisses from your child!

on a side note, see this little shack i am standing next too??

this is the shack we spent 9 hours in for our first leadership retreat. you know i am not tall... that shack was not either. it had one flourscent bulb in it and commercial grade carpet on a wood slab floor. there was no heat. the instructions on the wall said:
register - YES!
shoes - NO!
electric blanket - YES!
electric heater - NO!
vaccuum - YES!
pay - YES!
thank you for visiting

yes it was cold. and we huddled for the first 3 hours. funny thing though... away from the comfort of all our material things, sitting on our butts in the cold, we had a really good time of reflection on mary and martha and what it means to be doing the right thing at the right time. wonderful pastor. awesome faithful God!

the year of the baby

CONGRATULATIONS to all of our pregnant friends!
wow is it just me or are there babies coming up everywhere this year?!! i had another friend call me last week to say they are pregnant! william and i know 9 couples that are having babies in 2007. that is just crazy... and that is not counting the 3 couples at church and robin/stan down in LA that have already had babies since the beginning of the year. i guess since we haven't had any weddings to go to it is baby shower time.

who else is out there?? maybe if i go stand next to all of you, it will rub off. william and i aren't getting any younger... um hi God - any time now, just let us know :)

he's up and running

on wednesday and today, thomas is a thousand times better! thanks to all for your concern and prayers. turns out, his recovery was rough b/c his testicle was a little shrunken and the vessels and tubes that connect it to the other organs, are actually a little short. so his surgeon had to go in deeper and pull out as much of the length as he could. the surgery normally takes 40 minutes, but thomas' took a little over 50. even wih the extra effort, it is still short. so one of thomas' little guys will always hang a little higher than the other. :)

he felt well enough last night to try to rip this monkey's arm out... and it is a mechanized monkey so it's not that light. after swinging it around a bit, he threw it down on the ground with a satisfied "wooo!"

tuesday update

Thomas is still exhausted from his ordeal. he never lies so limp in our arms. his eyes are all bleary and he doesn't want to hold his head up.

He had a fever of 102-103 yesterday evening so we called the surgeon (the on-call surgeon answered, not the doctor who worked on thomas). he didn't really have any advice other than to add motrin on top of the tylenol we were already gaving him and calling his pediatrician. we didn't want to give him more drugs, so we just let him take another nap from 8 to 9:30pm, then he ate a little cereal with milk, took another dose of tylenol with a bottle of milk and slept from 10pm to about 6:30am. william stayed with him all night and said he cried out a lot, so his sleep was not restful. plus a couple times thomas would suddenly start thrashing violently and cry, then go back to sleep. i think he was dreaming about being taken away from us. also, to put him out, they had to hold a little clear plastic face mask over his mouth and nose. i am sure it was a scary experience having total strangers hold him down (even if gently) and clamp a gas mask over your mouth. he was probably reliving that in his dream and trying to get away.

i was able to sleep from 10 to 3:30am but after that, i drifted in and out, listening to thomas cry out every 30-60 minutes. poor william didn't get much solid sleep. we tried switching last night, but thomas would reach out for him as he walked away and wouldn't stop crying until daddy came back. i knew he wanted daddy so i just let william take him for the night. better that than both of us suffer for lack of sleep. he is taking another day off work today too.

at 6:30am, we gave him another dose of tylenol and he drank more milk. he fell asleep with william and we switched places once thomas was asleep. he was restless again crying out here and there in his sleep. 30 minutes into his sleep, he woke up crying, tried to roll over, and then tried to sit up. he was trying so hard, trembing as i helped him up, I didn't try to make him lie down again. then he wanted to stand. so i got up, picked him up gently and started patting his back. poor little guy threw up all of his milk. he threw up twice. once by the bed and again by the door as i walked to the bathroom. then he started shaking really violently. oh man, it makes you feel so helpless! so i called down to william and we got him cleaned up. he fell asleep again but is still on the warm side and uncomfortable. what to do what to do....

the surgeon that operated on thomas called us around 8am. he had heard that we called last night and wanted to check in. that makes me feel so much better because he was much more concerned than the on-call guy. he said that it is really unheard of for babies to have this kind of reaction to surgery. sometimes adults but not kids. he thinks it is a freak coincidence but maybe thomas has a 1-day flu or some other bug he picked up from another person in the last 2-3 days. the only time last week thomas touched other kids was sunday at church and at the st.patrick's day festival. well, he threw up all over me so we'll see if i get a 1-day flu this week.

thomas has never watched so much tv in his little life! most of yesterday afternoon (when he was awake) and this morning, we have been watching teletubbies and sesame street. we have 3-4 weeks worth on tape for emergencies just like this. i usually let him watch 30 minutes in the morning, but of course, we are making an exception for this. he is so uncomfortable and at least watching TV keeps his mind off how awful he feels. he actually points, talks and tries to clap when his favorite songs come on. a little bit of his old self comes through.

12noon update:
he is walking around a little and actually playing with some of his toys. he made both william and i "answer" a phone call on our cellphones. *sigh* thank God! hopefully this is an upward trend that will continue today. ops, he just starting whimpering again upstairs.... oh well, baby steps.

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here is thomas with a new toy we got for bath time last saturday. he doesn't have any tub toys so i got him this floating xylophone. he loves it! can't wait until we can take him into the bath again. can't wait until we have our old smilie thomas back!

post-op update

we got to the surgery center in concord at 6:30am. signed all of the legal paperwork and went into the prep room. kinda funny b/c it was one big room and all of the patients get undresed in the same room - just curtains to separate the patients. you could hear the other patients talk when they gave brief histories and answered the nurse's questions.

they had a little calvin & hobbes hospital gown for him and a warmed-up blanket. it was really hard when they had to take him away because he started crying the moment the nurse peeled him out of daddy's arms. he was crying as they carried him away with one arm outstretched to us. heartbreaking!!!

they allowed us to go in before he woke up so he would see us and feel us holding him when he came to. it was really hard seeing him lying there. but his mouth moved a little. then his arm gave a pretty big twitch. a few moments later, he woke up with a big cry and just kept crying. it took him awhile to calm down. he would cry, then fall asleep again, wake up and cry and then fall asleep again. he finally was aware enough for us to get the IV out and change him back into his fleece suit.

he slept most of the way home, but i can tell he is in pain. once we got home, he ate a little then slept again. he has pretty much been eating a little, drinking a lot of water, and sleeping the entire day. he doesn't sleep well b/c of the pain. long night ahead...

darn undescended testicle and St Patrk's Day

i shared last year that thomas has one testicle that didn't want to come down and join the other one in the sac. in 98% of those cases, the second one makes it's way down all by itself within the first year. unfortunately, thomas is in the 2% that hasn't. *sigh* so tomorrow, monday at 6:30am, we are going in to John Muir Medical Center to have it operated on. They put thomas under general anesthesia, make a small incision and manually pull it down to its correct location.

it is not a big surgery, most of the patients his age are bouncing around again by the next day and completely recovered by week's end. but please pray for thomas. things can go wrong sometimes when they have to put patients out and thomas is still a little guy. my head knows it is not a big deal, but my heart is aching to see him have to go through this type of thing at this age. i can not comprehend how my parents must have agonized, having to see me go through open heart surgery at the age of two. unimaginable!


--------------other news and cute pics------------------

thomas loves both of his grandfathers very much. every time he sees william's dad or my dad, he runs over and demands to be picked up.

here is a cute picture of us walking home from the park. look how small he is trying to walk BIG steps :)



----------------------st. patrick's day------------------------

we went to the St. Patrick's Day festival in dublin on sunday. we met a lot of people there so it was fun and very relaxing. the chen's, pao's, hong's, mui's, and gadad's (sara's nap went until 1:30 so we didn't see them until we had to leave). thomas fell asleep walking back to church. it was nice b/c the festival was set up this year within walking distance of our church. so we just parked and walked over. here's our friend, jenny - her older son, tyler LOVES loves to put his face right up to thomas so that thomas can pat both sides of his cheeks. it is more like slaps, but tyler doesn't seem to mind!


here is jenny's very cute, very precocious 3 year old, Haley. She is posing very nicely next to thomas (who is looking really really sleepy). at church later william found her trying to "turn" thomas away from the exit door. she does this by applying a nice choke hold and physically turning them around (click on the pic for a closer look at her hands and the gleam in her eye). notice the very mischievous look on her angelic little face :)

it is really funny to watch the interaction b/w all of the kids at church on sundays. kids are really creative and cup with some really wacky games. i caught two of the 5-yr old boys carrying one of the 4-yr old girls down the hallway (more like lugging her). they claimed she had passed out and needed to be carried down the hall.
also caught one of the 3-yr old girls pushing an 18-month old down one of the little plastic slides... but it was really more like pushing/shoving with both her hands and feet. she said quickly "auntie, i am helping him slide down." ha ha...

doing the catwalk

look at his walk! no it is a strut, a catwalk strut! belly rolling, hips swinging, arms swinging. man, he is looking so much like a little boy in this pic. those puppy slippers are from audrey and alan. i didn't think he would like them, but from the moment i showed him that they go on his feet, he hasn't let a day go by without wearing them. i have a feeling that even when it is too warm to wear, he will still want to wear them. if i forget to put them on in the morning, he actually brings them to me and sits down... waiting for me to put them on. hilarious!

some updates. he started picking his nose at the beginning of the month. also tries to pick my nose whenever he can. he eats, but he is picky. likes milk, grape juice, any soft bread, rice, soft veggies, cereal with milk and bananas, avocados, most fruits. big NO anything that is pureed baby food. what the heck to do with all the jars of baby food? sometimes, if he hasn't had it for awhile, i can fool him into eating a jar if i add soft pasta or bread and a little salt. oh well.
he weighs 22 pounds now! the bathroom scale actually picks him up. i taught him to stand on the scale all by himself and watch the digital reader flip around until it gives his weight. he likes hearing it beep when it turns on.
he loves "reading" - i think he will be like me once he gets into school - reading until parents make him go to sleep. one of the books we have has a picture of two kids, one standing next to a tree and the second hanging upside down on a branch. every time he sees this picture, he flips the book around and around, trying to figure out which is right side up! :)
he is really starting to remember and anticipate activities and actions. he loves bath time except for the hair rinsing part when the water goes over his face and i plug his nose. he hates having his mouth wiped after a meal so he will run away from me and try to put a large toy or obstacle between us. tonight he actually used me as the blockage to get away from daddy (this was the 1st time daddy had seen this evasive maneuver in action).
he loves to flop down on the twin bed in his room. if you pretend you are a monster coming to squash him (after he flops), he squeals (more like an ear piercing scream) and his whole body wiggles in anticipation of us coming to squash him. it is so much fun playing! on the other hand, it's a juggling act to keep him still for big poop changes. he hates being restrained in any way except when he is tired. at the end of every day, i am exhausted, happy but exhausted. i really need to start exercising...

Photoshop (GIMP) tricks

Check out the GIMP program...it's free and does everything Photoshop does without paying from $60-$800 for the software.

Have fun with it! This is my first stab at it using layers...(note the artsy fartsy black burn-in borders common for black & white prints made in the darkroom back when we used to get our hands wet moving prints from developer->fixer->wash)...)

future surfer

thomas gave me a little heart attack today. he grabbed the steering wheel of his little riding toy, got his feet on the seat and with a very focused look on his face - STOOD up. the pics are blurry because i was a little panic-y... torn b/w wanting to be at his side in case he lost his balance and wanting to get proof of this amazing feat of balance! he amazingly bent down carefully and got off himself. again, i say AMAZING because he is usually little drunken boy, tripping over everything and losing his balance just trying to walk straight.
when i showed william later, he was so proud and declared thomas a future surfer in the making :)

using a spoon and oh! the aches and pains

one of the books i am reading on child development said that you should allow your child to play with the spoon, practice as much as possible. as long as they can hold a spoon without gagging themselves on it, or accidentally stabbing an eye, empower them and help them improve their manual dexterity. well, i am a tired, lazy mother and just did not feel like cleaning up huge messes due to baby self-feeding.

i decided last week to finally give it a try. not just letting him hold the spoon and guiding it home, but actually letting go to see what he would do with it. first he took the spoon and examined it closely, to make sure what was on the spoon was to his liking.


once it passed his exam, i found that he eats very well and VERY properly with a spoon. esp when he is hungry. he ate half an avocado this way - with me handing him a loaded spoon.


look at the way he is holding it. so properly! the only problem is that it does empower him. I tried to move to the next course of cook rice porridge (jook) and at first it looked like it was going right down the hatch!


all of a sudden, he stopped, back up his head, and studied it real close. "this is not avocado and is not acceptible mommy."


so before he could dump the spoon and its contents on the ground, i grabbed it and pointed a finger at him saying, "you you you, smarty pants little boy" laughing... and he laughed right along with me. i think the little bugger knows!!!



-------------------- accidental learning---------------------

that nbc show "heroes" summed up having children wonderfully with their episode last week. george takei (yes, star trek fans... he's back in a hit show!!) hands a baby to one of the main antagonists (who did not want children) and said, "Having children changes a man." the baby later turns out to have the ability to heal (aka wolverine). this adage, of course, applies to both women and men in the most wonderful and radical way. it really teaches you about yourself, both the deep and the shallow.

one example of this surfaced last week. william and i discovered something that we do unconsciously.... through thomas. around mid-february, we started noticing that Thomas would grunt when he was picking up something heavier or exerting himself in some way, like standing up from a squating position.

last night we were laughing at thomas because he gave us a particularly extended grunt, like when someone is constipated. then we starting saying how funny kids are, b/c where did he learn that?? certainly not from us. then we looked at each other. uh... uh huh, not from us.... riiiiiiiight. LOL rolling on the floor! :D
almost everytime william or I gets up from the floor, we grunt a little. the grunt of old people, old bones, creaking under the added pull of gravity. esp if thomas is on me and i have to stand up, i grunt quite a nice long extended grunt of exertion. they pick up things you will never imagine!

costco runs

just for a little change, i tried standing thomas up in the cart as we cruised the isles. twice now we have gone and tried all their samples. thomas gets SOOO mad when i taste one and decide it is not appropriate for him. like an angry little ewok, squawking at me.

thomas was having a ball standing at the fore of the cart (a la "Titanic") but whenever it stopped moving he would complain a little. then i tried taking a pic. he took one look at me walking away and he started whining really loud. enough for most of the people in the meat department at Costco to hear. and that face! look at that little actor just giving me the most pained look ever! DRAMA KING!

shortly thereafter, an older lady reprimanded me quite strongly for allowing him to stand in the cart. "Babies are very top heavy and he could just tumble head first out of that cart. you need to put him back in the seat where he belongs." ok ok I am sorry! :)