Being alone with baby

sometimes it is very lonely being at home all day alone with just baby. especially with all of the rainy days we have had, it is tough not to feel a little down. Of course, i talk to thomas but sometimes i forget and it is quiet throughout the house. the first couple months i had the tv on constantly, but there is really not a whole lot on tv during the day so i haven't been watching much. occasionally discovery channel has something interesting, but they have so much chopper and FBI stuff, that got old. usually i will turn it on to check the listings for interesting shows. if nothing pops up, i turn to magazines or books.
on a side note, i just finished reading "the Davinchi Code". it was a fascinating read, very quick (like the harry potter books) but i felt a little cheated when i found out that half of the stuff in the book was made up or exaggerated. i guess that is a very good thing because if it was all fact, i think it would make me go hmmm..... anyways...

ever since thomas has been cooing, when it has been quiet for long enough, he reminds me with a little question mark coo to see if i am still there. that always makes me want to hug him and start up a semi-steady stream of one sided conversation again. before thomas i was a worker bee from 1995 to 2005. that's ten years of being able to do whatever i wanted whenever i wanted. spending days in the office and nights at home with william. from that to being at home 24/7 can make a person go a little batty. i know that i should be very thankful that i can stay at home and watch after him and i am. i thank God that william's salary is enough for our little growing family. but i have always wanted to start my own business. actually, it keeps me up at night sometimes, because i start thinking about business plans and what would work and what wouldn't. all that stuff starts getting my brain excited and then it is hard to get myself to sleep at 10pm or 6am. i just have to be patient and put it on hold for a few years. there are a ton of women out there who devoted themselves to kids and then jumped back in/got advanced degrees after kids were in school and went on to have fantastic careers. kids are truly all about patience.

of course, william comes home in the evenings and weekends, we all get to spend some time together. this photo was a lucky catch as i was snapping away. sorry dad, i cut your face out... wasn't thinking about you at the moment. :)

look at the joy on his face!!! seeing this, even with Thomas asleep in the other room, just gives me the most amazing indescribable feeling, that aching lovey dovey feeling in your heart i guess. words can't describe it.