Thomas' really busy week

Here is what his week is like. For a 15 month old, he is a really, REALLY, busy boy. Definitely on the higher end of busy bodies. btw, this is such a cute age, I mean disgustingly cute. He is so cute that William and I just want to squeeze him all day, but he hates being restrained. It is ridiculous how often we refer to cute things he has done or look at his picture and videos after he has gone to sleep. We are completely lovestruck parents! It is true that in becoming a parent, you lose a lot of freedom, but what you gain is more than words can describe. Absolutely nothing can replace it.
Anyways, here's a sampling...

He helps me vacuum almost every day.
He checks his email and plays some computer games.
He showed his grandparents how well he types on the computer.
Waters all of his little pots on the patio.
He shared his bus toy with his friend Haley.
Although - there was a highly questionable exchange that mommy caught on film...
Another thing he learned from his friend Haley.


Got to check out his friend, Kiera's doodle desk. She was so nice to share with Thomas!
Helped with the laundry, sort of...
Taste tested his first ice cream cone and found it pleasing. Maybe mommy will even let him eat the ice cream on his second birthday...
Hung out with daddy on sunday afternoon.

And joined the world of YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/scsiclips

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At the car wash

Today we let him help daddy wash the car. He had loads of fun getting himself soaking wet. He didn't even care that it was splashing his face.



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And miles to go before i sleep, And miles to go before i sleep.

Oh wonderful sleep.... you never get it back once you have a baby! unless you are one of the lucky ones that gets a baby that sleeps 4+ hrs right from birth. even with thomas sleeping 10 hrs a night, i find myself waking up after 5 hours in bed. sometimes when i am lucky, i can go back to sleep for an hour or two. other times, it is hopeless and i just can't get back to sleep. sometimes, i long for those lazy saturdays when we could sleep in until 9 or 10 if we wanted to. that sounds like such a luxury! but then they flash that BIG, beautiful, emoticon :D smile at you and all thoughts of sleep disappear (or at least you lay there, trying to convince him to lay still next to you for 5 more minutes). ha ha...

busy weekends

here's another winner - william took thomas for a bike ride last weekend (i avoid bike rides if at all possible). when they got to the park, he was too lazy to take off the helmet. so thomas had to swing with the helmet on. :p


Where does the time go?? it feels like 2007 has been a busy year. or do we say that every year? this weekend, we mercifully had nothing planned for saturday. so we got to do some gardening. thomas loved being outside with us. but every time he went into the street, we would give him a time out. we have this old spare carseat that we put facing the front door. so when he was strapped in, all he can see is the door. problem is - he doesn't mind the time out! we want him to know it is punishment! we want to hear him cry... but noooooo, he just sits there, babbling away to the front door. FIIIINALLY he complains. so we wait until he is really whining, then let him out.

sunday was rough for william. i had a great time though :). i went to a Jessica & Robert's baby Alexya's baptism (my co-worker at mervyn's). i carpooled with Debbie (another former merv co-worker). it was at Jessica's dad's church and it was beautiful! i was expecting a really, really traditional, Catholic service, and parts of it were. but the priest, Father John, is a pretty hip guy and was very engaged and connected with the congregation during the whole thing. not at all what i expected! so i really enjoyed the mass and the message he gave as well. afterwards, we went to her dad's BEAUTIFUL house in lafayette and chatted a bit with some of the people we met at their baby shower.

afterwards, Debbie and I went to H&M to do some power shopping. 30 minute time limit - eyeball and grab!!! we had fun but i do have some returns for the coming weekend. another chance to power shop :)

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here is one BIG, bouncing, energy sucking, time waster... :)



i can already tell videos are going to be a staple on my blog. i switched over to youtube - really easy to use and sure to be around until blogs are no longer the in thing to do. ha ha...

test video

one of our friends uses dropshots.com to upload video clips to their blog so we thought we would try it out. here is a short funny one to start: thomas discovered a whole stash of vitamin bottles that day. he was having tons of fun shaking them as hard as he could, and dropping them as hard as he could, until one of them landed on his little footsie... :D

totally mesmerized

this is thomas the first time we showed him the fishy screen saver (back at the end of march). he didn't move for almost 30 seconds, except for his twitching feet. he still loves it and talks whenever he sees the fishes appear. he points and goes "oo ooo" sometimes a high pitched "ay ya ya ya."

he had his 15 month well-baby visit. up to 22.2 lbs and 30.8 inches. at his 12 month visit he was 28.2 inches so he grew a lot! (man, i wish i could grow over 2 inches in 3 months!) we noticed he was starting to bang his head into the dining table and can reach more stuff on table tops now, but it didn't really register that he was growing until we saw him stretched out on the little height counter. also he is really starting to get sign language now. he signs for food, more, again, all done, hat and happy. of course, when he is tired, he starts to just wave his hands around erratically and it is impossible to tell what he wants. :)

pants on head

he was clapping and spinning himself slowly around. every 3 spins or so, he would get soo dizzy he would tetter, try to stay up but inevitably fall on his butt. after resting he kept getting back up to start spinning around again. i forgot how much fun it is as a kid to make yourself dizzy :)

big first time event...

daddy is everything ok? why am i? what is going on??

who are you? whacha got in your hand?

hmmm... what's this? i should taste it.

whoa, don't like all this activity going on.

tada! all better! and ready for summer :)

thomas got his first official, real haircut. i have always tried to cut it, but from 10 months on, it has gotten to difficult (thus the bruce lee/beatles shag he has been sporting). finally got him to the hair salon and luckily, we think he was so shocked, that he sat still for most of it. thank goodness, cause it is starting to get warmer and all that hair can get hot! :)

but he does look HUGELY different. we spent the rest of saturday evening asking thomas "did aliens take our baby? where is the real thomas? they did a good job cloning but we know you aren't the real thomas."

-------------------testing daddy's patience---------------------

thomas's LA auntie jenny came over yesterday to visit. for some reason, thomas decided that he wanted to show off. from the moment william stuck him in the high chair, he was all protests, loud whining and faker crying. so finally, william got fed up, "ok little buddy, no more food for you!" unstrapped him and plunked him down on his feet. as daddy was putting away the high chair, thomas gave jenny the BIGGEST smile and did a little victory dance while patting his tummy. he actually knew he won! what amazing sense of power he must have felt. heh heh

maybe that is what he wanted when his alameda auntie helen came over last week. he was super whiney then too. next time, we'll just let him out of his chair so he can proceed to show off for her too.

talking about showing off, we have noticed that thomas is quite a ham. most of the other kids his age that we know take some time to warm up to strangers. i can't even get a smile out of my nephew, joshua! but thomas has no qualms smiling, clapping, acting coy with whoever will smile back at him. i am afraid that he will end up in music or entertainment, performing. then always asking me to send him money so he can make rent. :p ha ha :)

church update

this is a little late, but for our friends that we don't see at church... we finally have a pastor at Living Bridge! we prayed and hung on for 18 months and found that as always, God does provide at the right moment, sometimes when you are not expecting it. I believe it was at a moment for me when i was really questioning the purpose of living bridge and whether it was for God's purpose or our own. it also came at a time when many of the other long time members really hunkered down and started to pray. previous to that, i think we were going more on our own power than God's power. (my thought only. i can think of 2 people that might disagree with me... but that's ok too :). thanks for all your prayers and to those of you who allowed us to bend your ear with what was going on.

here's our leadership team at our first retreat. pastor rick is third from the left. it was at this place, up in the scott's valley/santa cruz mountains called "fasting prayer mountain of the world". hilarious!! only thing i can say is that koreans can come up with the most pompous names. and it was cold. i am wearing a down jacket, wool padded mumu boots and long johns under my jeans. plus 2 long sleeve shirts and a cashmere turtle-neck sweater. i also brought a fleece blanket. i think i was the only one that day that was NOT cold, esp in the morning. the others were wearing only light jackets and fleece pullovers.


Pastor Rick started last November. he spent a few months observing and trying out a few ideas on us but has recently really moved into his role as shepard and stepped up his intensity in terms of training and challenging us (the leadership team). i think it is fair to say both William and i are really amazed at how having a caring and Bible-focused pastor has changed our church. he has managed to slowly and carefully start a redirection down the right path of prayer and focus on God, rather than of fellowship and material things.


it has been hard for past year, seeing a lot of the people at church get together more for social reasons. and having no spiritual leader meant relying on administrative leadership to hold the church together. that can only work for so long... people (whether christian or not, crave the passion that comes with true renewal of their hearts and mind.) since we didn't have that, it was really only the social aspect that was keeping people there. talk about thin juice!

both pastor rick and his wife, yvonne have had a wonderful effect on the church. to have a pastor that desires to get to know you and personally takes an interest in what is going on in your life, has filled both of us with a renewed sense of energy and dedication. i personally have not felt this since I left our church and pastor down at UCLA. it has been a long dry spell... and there is a reason the Bible says that we are not islands! we just can keep it going by ourselves. we need each other and we need God to stay on track. and yvonne, oh where do i start. she is like my long lost sister!! i can't tell you how many times we have talked the last couple months to discover yet another thing we have in common. she is so wonderful!

we know that everyone has weak points and things they have to work on. as we get to know him better and vice versa, we will see those things in each other. but many of us feel that God brought Pastor Rick and his family for His purpose and it has given us a renewed faith, not in the pastor but in God. Knowing that He will work through Pastor Rick to move us forward, is the best feeling in the world right now. right up there with getting spontaneous hugs and kisses from your child!

on a side note, see this little shack i am standing next too??

this is the shack we spent 9 hours in for our first leadership retreat. you know i am not tall... that shack was not either. it had one flourscent bulb in it and commercial grade carpet on a wood slab floor. there was no heat. the instructions on the wall said:
register - YES!
shoes - NO!
electric blanket - YES!
electric heater - NO!
vaccuum - YES!
pay - YES!
thank you for visiting

yes it was cold. and we huddled for the first 3 hours. funny thing though... away from the comfort of all our material things, sitting on our butts in the cold, we had a really good time of reflection on mary and martha and what it means to be doing the right thing at the right time. wonderful pastor. awesome faithful God!

the year of the baby

CONGRATULATIONS to all of our pregnant friends!
wow is it just me or are there babies coming up everywhere this year?!! i had another friend call me last week to say they are pregnant! william and i know 9 couples that are having babies in 2007. that is just crazy... and that is not counting the 3 couples at church and robin/stan down in LA that have already had babies since the beginning of the year. i guess since we haven't had any weddings to go to it is baby shower time.

who else is out there?? maybe if i go stand next to all of you, it will rub off. william and i aren't getting any younger... um hi God - any time now, just let us know :)

he's up and running

on wednesday and today, thomas is a thousand times better! thanks to all for your concern and prayers. turns out, his recovery was rough b/c his testicle was a little shrunken and the vessels and tubes that connect it to the other organs, are actually a little short. so his surgeon had to go in deeper and pull out as much of the length as he could. the surgery normally takes 40 minutes, but thomas' took a little over 50. even wih the extra effort, it is still short. so one of thomas' little guys will always hang a little higher than the other. :)

he felt well enough last night to try to rip this monkey's arm out... and it is a mechanized monkey so it's not that light. after swinging it around a bit, he threw it down on the ground with a satisfied "wooo!"

tuesday update

Thomas is still exhausted from his ordeal. he never lies so limp in our arms. his eyes are all bleary and he doesn't want to hold his head up.

He had a fever of 102-103 yesterday evening so we called the surgeon (the on-call surgeon answered, not the doctor who worked on thomas). he didn't really have any advice other than to add motrin on top of the tylenol we were already gaving him and calling his pediatrician. we didn't want to give him more drugs, so we just let him take another nap from 8 to 9:30pm, then he ate a little cereal with milk, took another dose of tylenol with a bottle of milk and slept from 10pm to about 6:30am. william stayed with him all night and said he cried out a lot, so his sleep was not restful. plus a couple times thomas would suddenly start thrashing violently and cry, then go back to sleep. i think he was dreaming about being taken away from us. also, to put him out, they had to hold a little clear plastic face mask over his mouth and nose. i am sure it was a scary experience having total strangers hold him down (even if gently) and clamp a gas mask over your mouth. he was probably reliving that in his dream and trying to get away.

i was able to sleep from 10 to 3:30am but after that, i drifted in and out, listening to thomas cry out every 30-60 minutes. poor william didn't get much solid sleep. we tried switching last night, but thomas would reach out for him as he walked away and wouldn't stop crying until daddy came back. i knew he wanted daddy so i just let william take him for the night. better that than both of us suffer for lack of sleep. he is taking another day off work today too.

at 6:30am, we gave him another dose of tylenol and he drank more milk. he fell asleep with william and we switched places once thomas was asleep. he was restless again crying out here and there in his sleep. 30 minutes into his sleep, he woke up crying, tried to roll over, and then tried to sit up. he was trying so hard, trembing as i helped him up, I didn't try to make him lie down again. then he wanted to stand. so i got up, picked him up gently and started patting his back. poor little guy threw up all of his milk. he threw up twice. once by the bed and again by the door as i walked to the bathroom. then he started shaking really violently. oh man, it makes you feel so helpless! so i called down to william and we got him cleaned up. he fell asleep again but is still on the warm side and uncomfortable. what to do what to do....

the surgeon that operated on thomas called us around 8am. he had heard that we called last night and wanted to check in. that makes me feel so much better because he was much more concerned than the on-call guy. he said that it is really unheard of for babies to have this kind of reaction to surgery. sometimes adults but not kids. he thinks it is a freak coincidence but maybe thomas has a 1-day flu or some other bug he picked up from another person in the last 2-3 days. the only time last week thomas touched other kids was sunday at church and at the st.patrick's day festival. well, he threw up all over me so we'll see if i get a 1-day flu this week.

thomas has never watched so much tv in his little life! most of yesterday afternoon (when he was awake) and this morning, we have been watching teletubbies and sesame street. we have 3-4 weeks worth on tape for emergencies just like this. i usually let him watch 30 minutes in the morning, but of course, we are making an exception for this. he is so uncomfortable and at least watching TV keeps his mind off how awful he feels. he actually points, talks and tries to clap when his favorite songs come on. a little bit of his old self comes through.

12noon update:
he is walking around a little and actually playing with some of his toys. he made both william and i "answer" a phone call on our cellphones. *sigh* thank God! hopefully this is an upward trend that will continue today. ops, he just starting whimpering again upstairs.... oh well, baby steps.

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here is thomas with a new toy we got for bath time last saturday. he doesn't have any tub toys so i got him this floating xylophone. he loves it! can't wait until we can take him into the bath again. can't wait until we have our old smilie thomas back!

post-op update

we got to the surgery center in concord at 6:30am. signed all of the legal paperwork and went into the prep room. kinda funny b/c it was one big room and all of the patients get undresed in the same room - just curtains to separate the patients. you could hear the other patients talk when they gave brief histories and answered the nurse's questions.

they had a little calvin & hobbes hospital gown for him and a warmed-up blanket. it was really hard when they had to take him away because he started crying the moment the nurse peeled him out of daddy's arms. he was crying as they carried him away with one arm outstretched to us. heartbreaking!!!

they allowed us to go in before he woke up so he would see us and feel us holding him when he came to. it was really hard seeing him lying there. but his mouth moved a little. then his arm gave a pretty big twitch. a few moments later, he woke up with a big cry and just kept crying. it took him awhile to calm down. he would cry, then fall asleep again, wake up and cry and then fall asleep again. he finally was aware enough for us to get the IV out and change him back into his fleece suit.

he slept most of the way home, but i can tell he is in pain. once we got home, he ate a little then slept again. he has pretty much been eating a little, drinking a lot of water, and sleeping the entire day. he doesn't sleep well b/c of the pain. long night ahead...

darn undescended testicle and St Patrk's Day

i shared last year that thomas has one testicle that didn't want to come down and join the other one in the sac. in 98% of those cases, the second one makes it's way down all by itself within the first year. unfortunately, thomas is in the 2% that hasn't. *sigh* so tomorrow, monday at 6:30am, we are going in to John Muir Medical Center to have it operated on. They put thomas under general anesthesia, make a small incision and manually pull it down to its correct location.

it is not a big surgery, most of the patients his age are bouncing around again by the next day and completely recovered by week's end. but please pray for thomas. things can go wrong sometimes when they have to put patients out and thomas is still a little guy. my head knows it is not a big deal, but my heart is aching to see him have to go through this type of thing at this age. i can not comprehend how my parents must have agonized, having to see me go through open heart surgery at the age of two. unimaginable!


--------------other news and cute pics------------------

thomas loves both of his grandfathers very much. every time he sees william's dad or my dad, he runs over and demands to be picked up.

here is a cute picture of us walking home from the park. look how small he is trying to walk BIG steps :)



----------------------st. patrick's day------------------------

we went to the St. Patrick's Day festival in dublin on sunday. we met a lot of people there so it was fun and very relaxing. the chen's, pao's, hong's, mui's, and gadad's (sara's nap went until 1:30 so we didn't see them until we had to leave). thomas fell asleep walking back to church. it was nice b/c the festival was set up this year within walking distance of our church. so we just parked and walked over. here's our friend, jenny - her older son, tyler LOVES loves to put his face right up to thomas so that thomas can pat both sides of his cheeks. it is more like slaps, but tyler doesn't seem to mind!


here is jenny's very cute, very precocious 3 year old, Haley. She is posing very nicely next to thomas (who is looking really really sleepy). at church later william found her trying to "turn" thomas away from the exit door. she does this by applying a nice choke hold and physically turning them around (click on the pic for a closer look at her hands and the gleam in her eye). notice the very mischievous look on her angelic little face :)

it is really funny to watch the interaction b/w all of the kids at church on sundays. kids are really creative and cup with some really wacky games. i caught two of the 5-yr old boys carrying one of the 4-yr old girls down the hallway (more like lugging her). they claimed she had passed out and needed to be carried down the hall.
also caught one of the 3-yr old girls pushing an 18-month old down one of the little plastic slides... but it was really more like pushing/shoving with both her hands and feet. she said quickly "auntie, i am helping him slide down." ha ha...

doing the catwalk

look at his walk! no it is a strut, a catwalk strut! belly rolling, hips swinging, arms swinging. man, he is looking so much like a little boy in this pic. those puppy slippers are from audrey and alan. i didn't think he would like them, but from the moment i showed him that they go on his feet, he hasn't let a day go by without wearing them. i have a feeling that even when it is too warm to wear, he will still want to wear them. if i forget to put them on in the morning, he actually brings them to me and sits down... waiting for me to put them on. hilarious!

some updates. he started picking his nose at the beginning of the month. also tries to pick my nose whenever he can. he eats, but he is picky. likes milk, grape juice, any soft bread, rice, soft veggies, cereal with milk and bananas, avocados, most fruits. big NO anything that is pureed baby food. what the heck to do with all the jars of baby food? sometimes, if he hasn't had it for awhile, i can fool him into eating a jar if i add soft pasta or bread and a little salt. oh well.
he weighs 22 pounds now! the bathroom scale actually picks him up. i taught him to stand on the scale all by himself and watch the digital reader flip around until it gives his weight. he likes hearing it beep when it turns on.
he loves "reading" - i think he will be like me once he gets into school - reading until parents make him go to sleep. one of the books we have has a picture of two kids, one standing next to a tree and the second hanging upside down on a branch. every time he sees this picture, he flips the book around and around, trying to figure out which is right side up! :)
he is really starting to remember and anticipate activities and actions. he loves bath time except for the hair rinsing part when the water goes over his face and i plug his nose. he hates having his mouth wiped after a meal so he will run away from me and try to put a large toy or obstacle between us. tonight he actually used me as the blockage to get away from daddy (this was the 1st time daddy had seen this evasive maneuver in action).
he loves to flop down on the twin bed in his room. if you pretend you are a monster coming to squash him (after he flops), he squeals (more like an ear piercing scream) and his whole body wiggles in anticipation of us coming to squash him. it is so much fun playing! on the other hand, it's a juggling act to keep him still for big poop changes. he hates being restrained in any way except when he is tired. at the end of every day, i am exhausted, happy but exhausted. i really need to start exercising...

Photoshop (GIMP) tricks

Check out the GIMP program...it's free and does everything Photoshop does without paying from $60-$800 for the software.

Have fun with it! This is my first stab at it using layers...(note the artsy fartsy black burn-in borders common for black & white prints made in the darkroom back when we used to get our hands wet moving prints from developer->fixer->wash)...)

future surfer

thomas gave me a little heart attack today. he grabbed the steering wheel of his little riding toy, got his feet on the seat and with a very focused look on his face - STOOD up. the pics are blurry because i was a little panic-y... torn b/w wanting to be at his side in case he lost his balance and wanting to get proof of this amazing feat of balance! he amazingly bent down carefully and got off himself. again, i say AMAZING because he is usually little drunken boy, tripping over everything and losing his balance just trying to walk straight.
when i showed william later, he was so proud and declared thomas a future surfer in the making :)

using a spoon and oh! the aches and pains

one of the books i am reading on child development said that you should allow your child to play with the spoon, practice as much as possible. as long as they can hold a spoon without gagging themselves on it, or accidentally stabbing an eye, empower them and help them improve their manual dexterity. well, i am a tired, lazy mother and just did not feel like cleaning up huge messes due to baby self-feeding.

i decided last week to finally give it a try. not just letting him hold the spoon and guiding it home, but actually letting go to see what he would do with it. first he took the spoon and examined it closely, to make sure what was on the spoon was to his liking.


once it passed his exam, i found that he eats very well and VERY properly with a spoon. esp when he is hungry. he ate half an avocado this way - with me handing him a loaded spoon.


look at the way he is holding it. so properly! the only problem is that it does empower him. I tried to move to the next course of cook rice porridge (jook) and at first it looked like it was going right down the hatch!


all of a sudden, he stopped, back up his head, and studied it real close. "this is not avocado and is not acceptible mommy."


so before he could dump the spoon and its contents on the ground, i grabbed it and pointed a finger at him saying, "you you you, smarty pants little boy" laughing... and he laughed right along with me. i think the little bugger knows!!!



-------------------- accidental learning---------------------

that nbc show "heroes" summed up having children wonderfully with their episode last week. george takei (yes, star trek fans... he's back in a hit show!!) hands a baby to one of the main antagonists (who did not want children) and said, "Having children changes a man." the baby later turns out to have the ability to heal (aka wolverine). this adage, of course, applies to both women and men in the most wonderful and radical way. it really teaches you about yourself, both the deep and the shallow.

one example of this surfaced last week. william and i discovered something that we do unconsciously.... through thomas. around mid-february, we started noticing that Thomas would grunt when he was picking up something heavier or exerting himself in some way, like standing up from a squating position.

last night we were laughing at thomas because he gave us a particularly extended grunt, like when someone is constipated. then we starting saying how funny kids are, b/c where did he learn that?? certainly not from us. then we looked at each other. uh... uh huh, not from us.... riiiiiiiight. LOL rolling on the floor! :D
almost everytime william or I gets up from the floor, we grunt a little. the grunt of old people, old bones, creaking under the added pull of gravity. esp if thomas is on me and i have to stand up, i grunt quite a nice long extended grunt of exertion. they pick up things you will never imagine!

costco runs

just for a little change, i tried standing thomas up in the cart as we cruised the isles. twice now we have gone and tried all their samples. thomas gets SOOO mad when i taste one and decide it is not appropriate for him. like an angry little ewok, squawking at me.

thomas was having a ball standing at the fore of the cart (a la "Titanic") but whenever it stopped moving he would complain a little. then i tried taking a pic. he took one look at me walking away and he started whining really loud. enough for most of the people in the meat department at Costco to hear. and that face! look at that little actor just giving me the most pained look ever! DRAMA KING!

shortly thereafter, an older lady reprimanded me quite strongly for allowing him to stand in the cart. "Babies are very top heavy and he could just tumble head first out of that cart. you need to put him back in the seat where he belongs." ok ok I am sorry! :)

What William listens to while driving to work...

John Mayer...I love this guy's music. Especially the lyrics...as I near my mid-life 40 years old. FORTY!

Anyways, check it out if you can...

"Stop This Train" - John Mayer/Track 7 on Continum

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train


For those that are lyric-interpreting challenged (like me)...read:
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858615298

heres what john said about this song on 98.7:

"i have no idea how i'm going to play this live, because it's definitely the most emotionally confrontational song for me....ya know, time is moving forward, all the time, and we know that, but..its kind of like running out of a continually burning hallway- and you can't go back and get your stuff. and all i wanna do is yell, 'i wanna go get my stuff!', but people are going, 'you can't! keep running!!'. and this fireball's coming up behind you, well it's not exactly as indiana jones as that, but it feels like that sometimes... so this is a song begging to go back and uhh, it's called 'stop this train'"..... :)


This line just cuts like a knife:
"Don't know how else to say it,don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own"

Sniff sniff... :) I'm getting sentimental in my old age. Well, actually I'm also impacted by several friends' parents passing away due to illnesses and cancer within the last 2 years.

sick sick sick and hotmail vs. gmail

thomas with his shaggy, 70's, bruce lee haircut.

mommy's putting the squeeze on his cute fat little head... :)


so thomas is sick again. again! he was sick from jan 22nd to feb 3rd, 2 whole weeks. he recovered but he had this really flegmy sounding cough, that never went away. on sunday he started getting a runny nose again. by monday it was a full blown cold, this time with a very productive sounding cough. only babies do not know how to hock lugees!! so yesterday night, thomas woke up coughing at 11pm, gagged as a lugee got caught in his throat and puked out his entire dinner. he was crying and it was so sad to see. i had just showered but i hugged him to me as close as i could anyways - he was crying in so much distress, yet trying to suppress his coughing because he was starting to realize that is what makes him gag. oh and wow - puck really smells terrible. the last time i puked was in college (LONG time ago)... i had no recollection of how terrible it smelled. so at 11 at night, we had to undress him, give him a partial bath and get him dressed again. he was sleepy but so miserable.

we are taking him to the doctor today to make sure that he doesn't have bronchitis or croup or something that can be treated. i am pretty sure that this is just a cold and that we just have to ride it out, get him rest, fluids, humidifier and keep him warm. but for william's sake, i am going to make sure that there is nothing else we could be doing. william (as many of you know) likes to have his bases covered. and you never know - it could be something worse.
from what i have heard, between 1 and 5, kids get sick a lot. after that it slows down b/c they have built up a little immunity. i think this is just part of parenting. but so william thinks i have done my due diligence, we are going to the doctor to make sure. i guess due diligence is a good way to prevent having to second guess yourself.

on a positive note, last month, thomas discovered blueberries and still can't get enough. he likes to stuff as many as he can in his mouth and will stop at nothing to get at them if he knows you have some. here he has partially climbed into dad's lap. we have to be careful about how many he stuffs in there b/c more than 3 and he tends to choke on the skins. silly piggy! not sure if you can see in the pic, but he has stuffed his mouth pretty full and is still reaching for more.

i can't really adequately describe what it feels like to watch your husband and your child snuggled together. but i read this little quip online and it was much better so ...
"A kind of fierce joy clutched at my heart. I would kill for them, die for them. The work, the constant, backbreaking effort, is nothing compared to the gift that is our small sweet family. This is what it's all about." (from babycenter.com, "tending violet")
and this is really what life is all about! :)


---------------------------HOTMAIL vs. GMAIL---------------------------------

on another note, have any of you tried the new hotmail office live beta version? i have an old hotmail account that i kept only for junk mail, online sign up and receipts (basically any site that requires me to plug in an email). i converted over to office live in feb and found it is pretty slick. it works almost like ms outlook now. plus william and i started using the calendar feature on hotmail and shared it out to each other. now, if we need to know if the other has something planned, we just check our hotmail calendar. pretty nifty! i have pretty much stopped using my palm. (sorry john...). then i discovered that for only $20/year, i can get rid of all those annoying ads on hotmail. it is like the whipped cream on top of a sundae! yes - you too can enjoy peaceful email time, free of flashing dancing pigs, blinking "low mortgage rates" and "hot singles waiting for you to call" for only $20 for the entire year. it is GREAT! the only reason i stayed with myway email for so long is because it had no ads.

my dilema is that i have this gmail account that i started a while ago and i really like some of the gmail features: the view, the way the threads tab, emails addresses on the left, the sort, search and label features. but the calendar is not as intuitive as the hotmail calendar. so switch all my email back to hotmail or switch over to gmail and just keep the hotmail for junk mail and calendar?? tough call.
i think i will ruminate on it a few more weeks. switching emails is such a pain and i don't want to have to do it more than once. i think the last time i switched was in 2000...

visit from baby Alexya

my co-worker from merv, Jessica came by to visit last week. it was SO cute! thomas is so aware of babies and other kids that are his size or smaller now. he saw me rocking her car seat so he tried "rocking" her as well. he was so curious and wanted to touch her feet. he was being a complete and total ham!




it is amazing to see social development in our babies - how he interacts with kids now, when just a month ago, he really wasn't interested. last sunday, when liz came to the toddler room to drop ethan, she sat ethan down on the floor. Thomas did the most amazing thing yet - he actually walked over, grabbed both of ethan's hands in his and flapped both them up and down a little while smiling at us. it was so break your heart cute, just makes you want to explode!